1. iamthewa, December 10, 2009:

   My husband and I separated after 2 years of marriage we had a son together and he did the same thing with tablets and wrote a letter while he was dying he didnt actually blame me or anyone else for that matter but the guilt is still there. All this happened to me back in 1992 so I have had a long time to live with it.
   I was blamed by his family but luckily our friends didnt go that far as they were aware that it was his fault I didnt make him do it and neither did you.
   The decision was in their head you cant beat yourself up for that. Its not easy but you really have to try and ignore the accusations, if his family had been there for him too he might be still here, just you tell them that the next time they feel the need to blame you.
   Thats what got me through they have the guilt too as they will know that maybe they could have stopped it too.
   So you shouldn’t carry the burden you have done nothing wrong. He hurt you before he took the pills and you were well within your right to punish him for that.
   Lift your head and fill your heart with your future, I promise you it gets easier.
   All the very best sweetheart xxxxxxxxxxx
   P.S
   I wanted to send you an email in case you needed to chat ever but I cant as you dont accept so if you do want to chat then you can send me a message and I will help in anyway I can. Please dont be alone and hurting I know what you are going through. My thoughts are with you. Barbara xxxx

2. Barbaraj, December 10, 2009:

   Oh, dear, I don’t know what to say to make you feel any better. I have never had this happen to me, but you must realize that you aren’t responsible for his actions. Many suicides put the blame on someone else. They want the other person to feel guilty. You can’t control anyone but yourself. Many people break up, have fights and they don’t kill themselves. Your bf had to have some very deep problems that he just couldn’t solve.
   I am so sorry for you, and sorry his family blames you. They are grieving, too, and probably aren’t thinking straight. Please see a counsellor or therapist to help you with your feelings. It’s not good for you to keep blaming yourself. Good luck to you.

3. Cat Lover, December 10, 2009:

   Live your life one day at a time, slowly move on, and just forget what his friends and family say, the only person at fault for suicide is the person who committed suicide. Its a traumatic event and you may never be fully over it, just don’t let depression take over.

4. Mudkipz, December 10, 2009:

   Life still has to go on. It has got nothing to do with you, God knows if he’s gonna kill himself intentionally or maybe he was hoping that someone could save him when he was at the dying edge and could have regretted for what he had done.
   Every one would want beatiful things to happen around him each day. But life just isn’t like that. Better walk out from your unhappiness and start leading a new life as soon as possible or you may end up with suffering from depression.

5. Serious Seeker, December 10, 2009:

   I am so sorry for you. I do not have experience myself, but my sister went true hell with her husband. He threatened to kill himself few times, and he eventually did. He did not blame my sister as he understood that it was his own depression.
   Your boyfriend wrote that you were the only reason he lived in the last few years. This by itself will tells you that he had mental/emotional problems. People do not kill them self if their mental state is all right. This is in no way your fault.
   It was just by chance that you came into his life for a moment and made him less depressed. His illness was not recognized in time and was not treated. This is very cruel to say that you are the reason he died. I think people just do not understand mental problems, it is very difficult to recognize sometimes. I had few relatives with mental problems and I can recognize it much easier than most people who come across with it. His problems were not your fault. I would suggest for you to go to therapy to help with your guilt feelings.

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