1. Pyar, September 9, 2010:

   What are your expectations for your life … To hell with what others want . You have to live with yourself .

2. Sean, September 9, 2010:

   E-mail me and we can talk. I have the same issues from time to time. I know how to cope with it.

3. kiss123, September 9, 2010:

   If you can get your hands on this book… read it! It’s called “Goodbye to Guilt” and it’s based on the “A course in miracles” series. Now, even though this series dates back to about the ’70′s, I believe, this book was so eye-opening for me and so helpful that I would recommend it to everyone. When you are struggling with issues like this, it’s important to start building some self-confidence and creating your own foundation to work from (instead of someone else’s). I have struggled with that same issue for years and never managed to succeed in meeting up to everyone else’s expectations. I have also realized that I never will… and it’s OK!!! I no longer try to meet up to everyone else’s expectations… so, now I am freer to create my own expectations (or goals) for myself… and that’s the way it should be! No one should live their life trying to please everyone else. It only leads to losing out on your own much deserved happiness. Pursue that!!!

4. micheleann62, September 9, 2010:

   Decide to please you. If you haven’t met their expectations its likely you never will. The fact it “kills you inside” lets me know you have a failure self image. Your family should not have expectations of you beyond the normal hope for you, that parents and siblings feel. Somehow you have the idea that they are your judges.

   They are the judges, only as much as you think they are. When you realize your right to decide how you want your life to go and you begin to behave in ways that will cause you to achieve some of your own expectations; how they view you as a person, as success or failure, will take a back seat to how you view yourself.
   Constantly seeking approval will keep you hostage to your family’s harsh criticism. I lived forty some years seeking my mother’s approval. I never quite got it. All the while I thought it was me, because I kept giving up and then rebeling and the cycle went on. When I gave up trying to get approved of, without being a rebel and without letting defeat “kill” me; once I had nothing to prove and no one to prove it to, I began living for the pure value of living my life to the best of my ability and it didn’t matter what job I had, how much I was paid or where I lived. It only mattered that I was true to myself, honest with others and lived according to a value system consisting of how I thought a human being should live, behave and feel toward fellow human beings. When I quit seeing failure by someone else’s standards I achieved success by my own. I achieved self acceptance and happiness. I hope you will too.

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