i think..in our society..you see people trying to kill themselves…slash trough wrist/jumping suicide/gunshot to the head/ these options are ok..but emagine if we would all have a self kill switch..like we can just close our eyes and then think of dying..and then BAM..your dead..you just blackout…or..or..there should be a button around you..near your skin..where you press that certain button and you DIE!!…that would be great wouldnt it be?..but i would so far think lets say makeout sex..a girl accidentaly touches the button and your dead…but the idea is not that bad in a sense..that you can have a kill switch button at the bottom of your feet.?..hmmm?…

who thinks that this is a good idea?..
who thinks that is is a bad idea?..why?..
god gave us life..but god forgot to give us a kill switch just incase we hate our lives..lol

I’d appreciate an outsider’s take on this. Here’s the story:

Background: My aunt is irrational. I truly think she has a personality disorder. She is a difficult person in general.

My uncle had a lot of bad things happen to him in the previous few years. He started a new business that failed. He had medical problem and had to get one of those penis tubes (sorry don’t know the technical name lol). He was depressed. And his wife wasn’t helpful. He was so worried about money and all she did was pressure him to get back to work. (He was lying in bed for days on end depressed.)

A year ago yesterday, my uncle committed suicide. (By the way my uncle is on my side of the family and my aunt is not.)

In the Jewish tradition, one does a shiva after the wedding, which means 7 days of mourning RIGHT after the death in a house with all of the family in attendance. At some point during this time, my aunt was saying that she is so surprised that people are not offering their (financial) support, etc etc.

About a week later, my mom and her brothers and sisters got together to discuss how they would financially deal with my aunt. (By the way my aunt and uncle lived in Florida and we live in Canada). My aunt was considering moving to Canada but it didn’t work out. Anyways so my mom and her brothers and sisters decided that they would each give a particular sum of money. My mom and dad ended up giving $5,000, which is a lot for them.

My aunt also got life insurance money, around $100,000, as we found out later. My aunt ended up moving from Florida to Israel.

In the past year, we have been in little contact with my aunt. We are all busy people. My aunt is complaining that there hasn’t been enough contact and that the whole family is against her. She is also saying that she wants a steady stream of money every month. She still does not have a job, and before she was a real estate agent (although I think she is taking a course).

My other uncles are fairly richer than my mom and dad and this crazy aunt is expecting them to support her because of that.

Now here’s the kicker: my aunt does not want to speak to our family anymore. (She also has three kids– my cousins were in Israel and wanted to visit them and that’s how we found out she doesn’t want to see any of us any more– after questioning after her excuses, she admitted that she doesn’t want to see our family.)

My question is: Is she right? Does she deserve a steady stream of flow? Keep in mind that she is a major reason for the suicide AND she got life insurance money and had other money. (Also to me it makes no sense that she would deny us the right to see her kids after she argues that we don’t keep in touch enough. Seems like it’s all about the money.)
Or is she being completely unreasonable?
Forgot to say that of course my rich uncles gave her money, I don’t know how much but they gave her. The thing is that she wants a CONSTANT inflow of money.
Thank you all so much for your caring support. I really appreciate it.

Tonight I want to write something and need the writer inside me to speak so much that I don’t have any more desire to speak about love and the pain it may cause. But the moment I start writing or even start pressing the first keyboard button about Love, I get confused. Why? I should never get confused cause love is a universal, simple and so common thing. Yes, it might be but whatever happened to me, it made the love just an illusion that one can only see or talk about in movies or other fictional books. In reality, I tried to love someone but failed so miserably that I wish I did not exist at all. This experience was so awkward and so unbelievably terrible one that my soul, body and experience of life, everything seemed like nothing. I was treated like a piece of trash and thrown away in such a merciless way that I kept wondering what the hell did I do wrong by loving someone? I think I don’t know what love is and how to love. I just tried my level best to do everything good and probably crossed some physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries as well to go beyond the current definition of love. But I failed, I think “failure” is a smaller word. The best way to describe my failure is “tragedy” just like someone dying. I had never opened my heart before in front of any woman and this was my first time that I opened my heart and put it in a lovely way in front her. But unfortunately, the way my heart was played with or truly fooled with, I just got so much shocked and embarassed that I forgot how to collect the shattered pieces of myself whichever were left on the ground once she went out of my life. I had a huge attraction to her, not just physically but mostly spiritually. Since I loved her, hence even her evils looked so wonderful. But unfortunately, I was wrong all the way from the start until the end. She, herself did not know who is she. She was having anti-depressent medicine on a daily basis and she had a history of breakeups. I knew all that but I thought that I can handle even worst cases than her. But I was proven wrong, especially when my heart was involved. If I was an Amir who was a cold-hearted guy, she’d be begging me right now just to talk, but I had experimented first time with my heart with her which back-fired to me in such a horrible way that I could not stand the ground and fell like a worthless straw. The whole life and purpose of life seemed crushing my very existance. I became so weak that without any need, tears would always be ready to come out of my eyes and I’d be always ready to yell, scream, cry and hurt myself physically. That was the biggest embarassment of my life and I will always remember this as the most painful lesson of my life whereby I should never ever ever present my heart to be played, trashed and abandoned out there just like it meant nothing.

I’d like to forget it as a horrible dream. But my soul from deep inside suffered due to this, hence, I know this is going to have a hugely profound impact and effect on my personality for the rest of my life. I just wish and pray that the way my heart was played with and trashed, I don’t do that to anyone out there. I just am so much scared of my own revengeful feeling that I would never ever involve my heart with any woman out there again, because there is no heart left after this tragedy of life and I’d be giving her nothing but a piece of flesh and blood.

I am terrified forever and my life seems so much insecure. I feel weak and broken. I wish these negative and pessimistic feelings go away as soon as possible so that I can help others such as my parents, kids, family, friends, needy ones or anyone out there. I am so much ashamed in front of myself that I know the reason behind people committing suicide how would they be feeling at the last moments when they finished their own life with their own hands. I came very close to suicide but until the time of writing these words, my body remains alive. However, my soul seems dead now and it is strange that this body is still moving around, working in office, and talking to people.

For some, this is a “pity party”, but for someone whose life is destroyed, this is so much “pity”. I wish nobody gives his heart to a woman like I did, I pray that and I will try to spread this message to every man I see whoever seems falling in love with a woman. I know this is negative and pessimistic view but I’d like to save someone’s life. Otherwise, people’s lives are mercilessly played with and such women simply go ahead by “moving on” leaving those poor men’s corpse behind with their hearts shattered on the ground.

If this is love, please never ever try to love someone or try to get involved in someone like I did. I am a living tragedy as an evidence and as a witness to the most horrible and terrible thing that can happen to any living soul on earth.

Wishing you a life without a woman’s love,

Amir

Why should I bother going on with life if I can’t change how girls react to me? C’mon, I don’t know how to talk to girls the way normal guys do since I have Asperger Syndrome, I can’t read body language or take hints if they are not interested, I have a very hard time breaking the ice with a girl for the first time, basically it’s rare when I have a good conversation with a girl. I am better talking to girls online or on the phone than I am in person, but since cute girls like to be approach and get acquainted in person before they give their number out, I am screwed. So why is never having a girlfriend yet at age 20 and still being a virgin a dumb excuse to kill myself? give me good reasons why suicide is not the answer.
I feel I have missed out and there is no way I can have the fun I could have had in the past of having a girlfriend in high school or at ages 18 and 19.

was dumped my BF of 7 yeaars for a younger, prettier woman. me and my supposedly fiance never had sex due to him refusing an hiv test. then i noticed 2 purple lesions/blotches appear on his leg accompanying a huge red rash on his arm and feet with fever, vomit, and diareha. He siad the purple marks were from falling off his bike and a bebe gun shot when he was 10. 4 months later the marks never disappeared. he blamed my food for his flu like symptoms although i ate the same food and never got sick. then the last 9 months he had ginigivits and would bleed from his mouth for no reason so i never kissed him for like 2 years becuause he refused to brush his teeth. when he dumped me he told me i wasnt **** to him and he has a new girl. HOW DO I NOT BE JEALOUS OF THIS NEW GIRL THAT STOLE MY FIANCE FROM ME AND MY LIFE FROM ME? HOW DO I COPE WITH ALL THE LONLEY NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS AND SEE THE POSITIVE SIDE OUT OF THIS VERY DEPRESSING SAD SITUATION. I FEEL SO SUCIDAL LIKE I WANT TO JUST LAY DOWN AND DIE. AND BEING 35 I FEEL NO ONE WOULD WANT ME ANYWAY