I know this question may seem trivial to some people, but do really love my parents. So it hurts every time they call me stuff like ‘immature’, ‘lazy’ and ‘bad’ when I am trying my best.

This is what made me feel this way today:
I gave my mom the financial aid application and I had the intention of asking her some information to fill out her part and my part–but somehow she thought that doing it herself would be quicker.
Since tomorrow was the priority deadline (not official, since it is early action and tax hasn’t been collected for 2009 yet), I was thinking that everything was okay, and that it wouldn’t take that much to finish it quickly. However, I was wrong. I clearly saw that I am at fault, and I feel bad about it. The only thing was that I was only notified by the university the weekend before the deadline that I had to submit the PROFILE tomorrow through an e-mail, there was no indication in their application checklist that I had to finish that. Thus, I wasn’t able to get a head start to it. Though I would understandably know why she may cal me ‘immature’, ‘selfish’, and ‘lazy’, it’s been happening all the time, and not only in this incident.

In school, on the other hand, I am the ‘responsible’ one. I am the type who studies 4-6 hours a day, sacrifices my Saturdays studying, and studying at least 5 hours for a quiz and 10-15 hours for an exam. I am also active in terms of extracurricular, joining the Junior Achievement program in my city and contributing significantly to our group’s science project (where we make our own experiment and present it to the school). Though I may have a bad habit of procrastination sometimes, I still manage to get everything done by the deadline.

In everything I do, I try to put my best effort. I am not the smartest kid my parents would want, since I get mid 80s to high 80s at best, I take a demanding course load (all honors except Chemistry IB, Physics, Calculus and Latin.. making it a total of 7 subjects this year. However, I took all honors/IB in prior years). I’m an honors student. I’ve won awards displaying my hard work in school. Many of my teachers and classmates commend me for that.

But my parents still think I’m lazy, immature and bad. They think that I have evil intentions every time I do something. For example, concerning the financial aid application, my mom said I ‘lied’ when I told her that the preliminary stage was it,.. that’s what I thought too!! It’s my first time doing a financial aid application and my counselor knows nothing about financial aid, so I’m at a disadvantage. I didn’t know that she had to put everything we spent in that application, I’m new to the process too. Furthermore, she said her side of the story. I am dissapointed when parents don’t hear the children’s side of the story. As long as the parent said it, that’s it! Because of this, I don’t feel loved. I have a younger brother who plays video games all the time, does not do his chores, and gets 60′s-70′s in school and they talk to him more than me. Sometimes I feel like it’s because of me. Maybe they don’t love me. Maybe they wish it was just my brother that existed. That’s why I’ve been thinking about suicide lately. Recently, I’ve felt like I’ve been the reason for my mom’s misery. She always complains when I let her read my essay, saying that I’m a ‘bad writer’ and that I don’t deserve to graduate from Grade 12 English (I have an 84 in English Honors btw). I think my parents have really high expectations for me, and I feel like that if I don’t fulfill those expectations, both my dreams and their dreams for me will die. They try to reassure me that it doesn’t matter, but there’s that unseen pressure. My mom always talks about California, how she wants to move their eventually when I go to my ideal school there. Thing is, I don’t know if I’ll get accepted to my ideal school.

Maybe they’ll be happier when I’m dead. Maybe all their problems will be solved if I just didn’t live anymore. Every second of my life seems to bring more hurt to them, how can I stop it? Weary myself to death from starvation and overwork? Perhaps fainting from exhaustion while walking home in the blistering snow, where no one can notice? Dying in the cold? Maybe. I just need to know if they love me.

Dear friends,

Now I am in a very dangerous communal or Religious problem. I have written a letter to the Holly Father, the letter is added bellow. Please suggest me what should I do?

…………………………………………………………………………………………

To,
The Honourable Holy Father
Roman Catholic Church
Vatican City

Dear Holy Father,

Subject: Seeking help for tortured christen in West Bengal, India.

I am a human rights activist from the platform of world famous Human Rights organization Amnesty International. I married to a lady from Gandhi Ji Preem Nivash, Kolkata 700119, who is christen and the daughter of mother Teresa. From that time I am getting problem from some people who heat christens. After staying near two months in Preem Dan, Park Circus on 29/09/2008 she gives birth to my baby. That time I went Preem Dan regularly and then I attracted to the holy Christianity. On 21/10/2008 many sisters from Preem Dan and France with my wife and baby came to my house then I took decision to convert myself from Hindu to Christen. After that some people who heat the Christen started to torture us by many ways. On 23/10/2008 I went to a famous ‘Kali’ temple then they attacked me. They threaten me in very slang language, told me that I don’t have any right to go any Hindu temple and also told me that they will kill us, rape us and also told that they will put me in jail by any false case. Etc. after that they called the police and told them that I am the most criminal person in the police world and I do every crime. But the local police know me very well as an honest and gentle person so the refused to arrest me but they forced to arrest me so the police had been compelled to take me to the police station. From the police station I made phone calls to advocate Ruby Mukherjee (Amnesty International’s kolkata head), superintendent of police, the ex MLA Nirmal Ghosh and some news reporters regarding my problem then OC of the police station called me and talked with me sympathetically and understand my problem with sympathy and realized me.
Now I and my family are in danger. Please save our life. I don’t have any money power and man power. After writing this letter I might not be alive. If any accident will take place then the persons will be totally responsible. And if Indian government can’t save me or can’t give protection to me then I will be compelled to commit suicide in front of Rashtrapati Bhavan.

My Name: Subhamoy Bhattacharjee
Father’s Name: Haripada Bhattacharjee
Address: Kennel side road, Po- Kalyannager, Pin-700112, 24Pgs (N), West Bengal, India.
Contact No: 03325236676, 9051372610
E-mail: pappa_1945@hotmail.com

The name of the persons who attacked on me: Arun Mukherjee
Dulal Chandra Dhara
Chadu Dhara
Gadadhar Biragi
And their associates
Address: Near Rashkhola nathupal burning ghat. P.O BD Shophan,
Pin-700116, 24Pgs (N), West Bengal.
Please of the incident: Rashkhola nathupal burning ghat. P.O BD Shophan,
Pin-700116, 24Pgs (N), West Bengal.

Date and time of the incident: 23/10/2008, 7:15 Pm

Thanking You
Yours truly
Subhamoy Bhattacharjee.

Copy to for the necessary action and Help:

1.Honourable President of India.
2.Amnesty International
3.Honourable Sister Nirmala, Missionary of Charity.
4.Honourable Vice President of India
5.Honourable Chief Justice of Supreme Court, India
6.Honourable Prime Minister of India.
7.Honourable Cabinet Secretary of India
8.Honourable High Commissioner for Human Rights, United Nation
9.Honourable Chief Information Commissioner, Central Information Commission,
Old JNU Campus, Block IV, 5th Floor, New Delhi-110067, whabibullah@nic.in
10.Honourable Ministry of Home Affairs, North Block, Central Secretariat, New Delhi – 110 001, Phone: 23092011, 23092161, Fax: 23093750, 23092763, email: websitemhaweb@nic.in

11.Minister of Law and Justice, 4th Floor, A-Wing, Shastri Bhawan, New Delhi-110 001.
Phone : 23387557, 23384777, 23384617 | Fax : 011-23384241, 011-23387259, 011-23382733
12.Honourable Minister of Personnel Public grievance and pension, North Block, LNB – Lok Nayak Bhawan, JNU – Jawahar Lal Nehru University(Old Campus)
13.Honourable Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment,
14. Ministry of External Affairs, India
15.The Honourable Chief Minister of Gujrat.
16.Honourable Minister of Women and Child Development, Social Welfare and Jails
17.Honourable Governor of West Bengal.
18.Honourable Chief Justice of Calcutta High Court.
19.Chair Person of West Bengal Human Rights Commission.
20.Honourab

I found this news story recently

http://stcharlesjournal.stltoday.com/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt

and was shocked to find out the MOTHER of the former friend set up the false account to harass this young girl. Should she go to jail? Your opinions, please…

i am a very very beautiful woman.i am married and i have 2 children.i am a very attractive woman,and though i am a sane rational person,something has happened to me.last night,i was at a bar with one of my male friends when a muslim male approached me and asked me if he could buy me a drink.i said no to him and i asked him to leave me alone.the muslim male became angry and said this to me:get ready for the next one bitch,just get ready.i was terrified.i am a very very beautiful woman,and i do not want to die in a terrorist attack.i have been up all night thinking about it,and i have decided to set myself on fire and jump from the top of the empire state building.i will miss my children and my husband,but i would end this way than wait for the muslims to kill me.i am a very very beautiful woman.

Depression is not by its very nature a happy subject, but with the pressures put upon us all in today?s world it is unfortunately only too common. To many people who have never experienced it, an instant cure should be possible simply by telling the sufferer to ?snap out of it?. Sadly the depressed person would be only too happy to be able to comply, but they cannot, for a variety of reasons better known to the psychiatrist than to the layman.

There are many different forms of depression and they manifest themselves in a variety of ways, ranging from what can appear to be ?just nervousness? to an overwhelming desire to solve all the problems which are crowding in by committing suicide. Full Story »

People who are suicidal usually suffer from some sort of depression or other psychological problem. The symptoms that a person typically has when they are suicidal include feelings of depression, intense sadness, hopelessness, lethargy, loss of appetite, poor sleep, decreased ability to perform ones usual tasks and a loss of interest in once-pleasurable activities People who are suicidal also may inflict pain upon themselves, or engage in self destructive behavior. If you are having suicidal thoughts, the most important thing you have to remember is that these are symptoms of a very treatable problem associated with chemical reactions in the brain, and that there is help out there for you. Feeling suicidal is not a sign of a weak character, so there is no reason to feel ashamed to get help. Suicidal feelings are not something to be ignored and will not go away by themselves. If you are feeling suicidal, talk to someone you trust right away. You should not let these feelings fester inside of you, because they will only become worse and worse.

There are many different types of treatments for individuals suffering with suicidal depression. After talking to your doctor, he or she can help you chose a drug that is right for you’re personal needs and body chemistry. Other treatments include several types of therapy and help groups. It is ultimately up to you how you would like to handle you’re depression and find a solution that pleases you. The sooner you start looking for help, the sooner you can begin to feel happy again and start living your life to the fullest.

Many people who commit suicide do so after suffering from less than three bouts of severe depression, because they have not yet learned that this feeling is only temporary. As soon as you realize that your feelings of depression are going to pass, the likely hood of committing suicide drops greatly. Many people who suffer from depression have a plan that they rely on when they are feeling extremely low. A plan that you might make could include a list of emergency numbers that you carry with you wherever you go, such as your doctor’s cell phone or friends and family members contact information. You may also want to have the number to your local suicide hotline number ready. You should educate your friends and family before hand what they should do in case of a crisis. This will ensure that when you call them in you’re time of depression they will know exactly what steps to take. By carrying this paper around with you, others can contact these people, if you are not in a state to do so.